Bitch betta have my kiwi...
by Adam & Lara on 04/05/10
We stopped in Whitianga to play a game of mini-golf, and to our fascination the course had a cartoon theme. At each tee there was a cartoon frame posted that told a story over the course of 18 holes. Unfortunately the story made no sense whatsoever. From what we gathered, there was a kiwi, a robot, a car and an owl (Mayor Maurice Morepork). The robot was designed to detect and kill kiwis, and the Mayor wore a huge gold chain, perhaps signifying pimp status. Maybe you can help us piece together this mystery:
This was posted at the very first hole. You're kindof thrown into the story right in the middle. How 'Memento' of them.
So Kee-Wee drives a Beetle with a vanity plate reading "RACKETTY." We ran this against the NZ Dept. of Transportation database and the search yielded zero results. Moreover, this does not even appear to be a valid vanity plate. Kee-Wee is clearly a fugitive, but what in God's name is he running from? Lara's guess was a hard life as a male prostitute.
Bingo. Lara stands beneath Maurice Morepork, or as his "bitches" call him, "The Mayor." He's dispatched his bounty-hunting electronic narc-bot (a.k.a. BEN) to intercept Kee-Wee. Note that Adam was shooting 2 below par at this point.
Just as Mayor Morepork exploited young kiwis, he also evidently exploits cheap non-union labor to build his robots. The result - a critical failure in BEN's kiwi recognition sensors.
We realize this is a children's venue, but even kids know that robots of today don't have sputtering cartoonish breakdowns when they malfunction. This is just fucking silly.
Unfortunately, after being set free it was only a matter of weeks before Kee-Wee reverted back to male prostitution.
So yeah, that was fun I guess.
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