We Got Bartellonied

by Adam & Lara on 10/04/10

Have you ever gotten Bartellonied? No, you can't get Bartellonied by huffing uncured epoxy. Trust us.

"Getting Bartellonied" is the New Zealand term for when Sam Bartelloni sends you a gift in the mail. And Adam and Lara just got Bartellonied so freakin hard that it's not even funny. Not even funny to Sam Bartelloni, who just Bartellonied us so fast and hard that it is not a laughing matter whatsoever.

This is Sam Bartelloni. She's a very powerful and complex person - one must be if they are to wield the power to Bartelloni people. In this instance Sam is Bartelloning Gourdy. It goes without saying that Gourdy is lovin' it.

Anywho, Sam sent Lara a bunch of amazing things for her birthday that reminded her how great a country the United States of America is.

Young adult romantic dramas reminded Lara that in America everybody's problems matter, especially if you're a post-apocalyptic teenage emo kid.

Celebrity gossip mags reminded Lara that in America celebrities are respected, unless they are fat, skinny, smart, dumb or just like us.

Velveeta Shells and Cheese reminded Lara that there is a God, and His name is Velveeta Shells and Cheese.

Since Adam's birthday is right around the corner and he throws tantrums when other people get presents and not him, Sam also sent Adam some fine china(town trinkets).

The Fuzzy Philosophers toy was clearly broken, since it allowed Adam to draw himself.

How did Sam know that Adam is in all kinds of legal trouble down here?!

 We all know about thumb wrestling. But did you know about thumb Mexican wrestling? It's significantly more exciting, but you might get stabbed.

Thank you Sam for dumping that big festering bucket of Bartelloni all over our faces. It felt great.