Oh Shit We're Awesome Again
by Adam & Lara on 01/09/12Since we left New Zealand we've been meandering around aimlessly trying to rekindle the blogworthyness of our previous lives. We used to climb volcanoes and jump off bridges and all sorts of other crazy shit. For Christ's sake, we ZORBed.
These days things have slowed down a bit. We just spent 45 minutes scouring Flickr for the craziest thing we've done in the past 10 months, and this is what we came up with:
Excuse me ma'am, you're driving on the wrong side of the bridge. Wait a sec, YOU CAN'T EVEN DRIVE ON THIS BRIDGE! WOAAOAOAOH!
Ahh, that was neat. But just not the same kind of neat you've come to expect from a couple of floor-humping, lamb-snugglin' earthquake survivors. And that's why we couldn't wait to tell you the great news: as of right now we are completely fucking awesome again.
You see, Lara just got a new job at a bakery. On her 3rd day of work the Fleet Foxes came in, commented on her crazy-delicious iPod selection, announced themselves as the fucking Fleet Foxes, and subsequently put us on the VIP list to get into their sold-out show. Boom goes the dynamite.
We were so close that we could literally smell the Apples in the summer, golden sweet. But then we realized that was just some weed somebody was passing around.
"Oh hey Adam and Lara, I hope you guys are comfortable in those free VIP seats. Why don't I play your favorite song next. What's that? You want us to put up a giant pulsating Incan-inspired disco light behind us? Done."
And finally, proof that we were actually there.
The rest of the pics can be seen here. For those leaving comments we just want to let you know that "jealous" is spelled the same in the Queen's English.
Mandatory Holiday Blog Post!
by Adam & Lara on 12/29/11
We really hope that you've been enjoying your Judeo-Christian holidays, and even if you're not Jewish or Christian, we hope you've enjoyed having the holidays shamelessly thrust in your face. It's not the worst thing that's been shamelessly thrust in your face, right Fogle?
Speaking of thrusting things in faces...
This stuff is kosher, right?
Either way, Adam's beard is kosher enough to let it slide. Let's talk Jeebus. We had an epic Christmas over here. Everybody got exactly what they wanted. Especially Tom.
Adam got exceptionally weird.
And Jacqui got Tom's presents that she bought for him, gun-lighter included.
Hanukkah was off the charts as well. Sans the 22 pounds of glazed ham that we ate for dinner during days 2, 4, 5 and 7, the rest of 4 crazy nights were spent in pious observation.
Poor planning forced us to spend Hanukkah just like the Maccabees of yore - huddling around a menorah made from a scotch bottle container and tea candles, wearing makeshift yarmulkes we found behind the couch. And now you, our friends, know the story of Hanukkah!
See you kids in 2012.
Meet the Easeys
by Adam & Lara on 12/18/11
We lived in New Zealand for an entire year and spent the whole time living with French Canadians, Brits, Irishmen and South Africans. We got all dressed up to go to the bar mitzvah, and when we got there we spent the entire time hanging out with Uncle Marty's shiksa girlfriend and her sons Chris and Roman.
Now that we're living in Melbourne, it's only fitting that we're sharing a house with 3 hilarious Kiwis. And now to introduce the Easey Street crew...
Jacqui likes Barbie dolls, making collages, glow sticks, candy shaped like animals and anything else that a 7-year-old girl (or a briefly confused 12-year-old Adam) loves.
Like most trans-Tasman folk-blues-fusion musicians, India is a very complex person driven by artistic passion, creative impulses and an imaginary maternal relationship with a toddler whose picture she found at a thrift store. His name is Artie by the way.
Thomas Petrie (right) is a man of contradictions: he's a horticulturalist with a voracious appetite for meat, a hip-hop lover who wears skinny jeans, and a sour cream addict who gets nightmares if he eats too much cheese. Tom wants you to know that he is now 27 and 1/2 years old.
Responsible living is always practiced on Easey Street - for example, we always have a designated biker.
Next time you're in Melbourne stop on by and meet the family!
Melbourne to Sydney on Bicycle: CHECK
by Adam & Lara on 12/16/11Per the usual, we're going to start this post out with an apology for not posting in so long. And as always, there is no good excuse for why we've been out of service - Adam just cycled 1100 km (684 mi) from Melbourne to Sydney, that's all.
Adam and Canadian friend Dan arrive at the opera house on Dec. 14th after leaving Melbourne on Dec. 3rd. Dan convinced Adam to go on this epic bike ride in the first place - yet another instance of Canadians trying to convince the world that doing outlandish things is OK (case in point: wearing a denim jacket with a denim shirt and jeans).
Once we get the pictures up we'll give you a little more detail. Until then, Adam is still trying to get caught up everything that's happened since he's been off the grid. What have you folks been up to? How are those Pujols contract negotiations going?
ELEVEN ELEVEN ELEVEN
by Adam & Lara on 11/12/11What are you doing for 11/11/11? If it's half as glorious as what we did then you, my friend, deserve a fancy wooden nickel.
The Cardinals won their 11th World Series in a legendary 7-game grind. The boys went completely berserk and celebrated like there would be no tomorrow, except for old Poops who needed his eyeballs intact for reviewing offers from the Marlins.
We drank 11 shots of Old McCallister's 7-month scotch and made 11 inanimate objects get all nasty and nekkid together.
The Easeys ate 11 pounds of kangaroo meatloaf. Picture left to right: India, Charles Manson, Tom. Imagine the meat-sweats that you'll get after eating that much roo-loaf.
Lara's spoon was too big.
And now we're off to Harvest Music Festival. You'll meet all of the Easeys in our next post.
Homeruns Coming Out the Pujols
by Adam & Lara on 10/23/11Finally Adam and Lara have their Halloween costumes picked out:
We're still deciding who will go as the pitcher and who will go as the belly-itcher.
You just can't beat watching Poops hit 3 dingers in a World Series game. That shit is ridic. Here's what it looks like to peep ridic shit in Australia:
Key to getting a bar in Melbourne to show an MLB game with the volume up: continuously order $9.60 pints.
The icing on the cake was watching the All Blacks edge out France to win the Rugby World Cup. At least Dubya can still enjoy his freedom fries.
It feels so good Down Under
by Adam & Lara on 10/22/11
We're not the kind of people who would go to painstaking efforts to keep up a blog for an entire year and then completely drop off the map for 2 months in the midst of one of our most blog-worthy adventures yet. That's why we're dropping this update on you, a mere 1 month and 22 days since our last post. You're completely welcome.
Anyway, we're sorry we've been silent thus far - we've been busy doing the typical immigration rigamarole... finding an apartment, getting settled in with jobs and hanging out with a hip-hop producer and badass MC.
He's staying in one of the 4-bunk dorms at our hostel, which used to be a nunnery, no big deal. He's got an apartment lined up for next month. He spends his days mixing fresh beats and smoking joints. His eyes actually do shoot laser beams. Do your eyes shoot laser beams? Perhaps that's because your beats aren't really that sick.
So anywho we're in Melbourne now, the birthplace of Australian Rules Football, which is a combination of rugby, soccer and man-hugs. Lara has gotten back into her old habits of suckling at the corporate teat, and Adam has been slanging Capture Camera Clips like his friendship with Pete depended on it (which it probably does at this point). But life on "Easy Street" won't last long - unfortunately we're leaving our hostel on Monday and moving into an apartment on Easey Street. We'll let the pictures tell the rest...
We got crap-tons of friends already, no big deal.
You get exposed to a whole new fleet of automobiles in this part of the world - from the big gay kind to the little gay kind.
It's refreshing to leave San Francisco, a town with a giant homeless problem, and arrive in Melbourne, a town with a giant black demon baby problem.
And that's that for now. Just want you to know that we are alive and doing well. It's a little bit more moist down under than we'd like it to be, but that's Spring in Melbourne for you!
And now this is finally happening again.
by Adam & Lara on 08/30/11
Sorry for sleepin' on y'alls!
Shhhhh... I'm changin' the channels.
It's time to get this sappy crap basket of a blog rolling again. One more apology for the extreme lull in blog action. All of our recent action has been entirely devoted to our back sactions. Observe:
Source of action: back sactions.
We've got 2 more weddings behind our belts, both of which have forced us to buy bigger belts. We're currently living with Lara's mom Mary Jo and her borkfriend, Joe Bork, in Eden Prairie, MN. Adam is now working for Peter and his amazing technicolor Capture Camera Clip System, which is part employment and part reparation for Adam constantly ripping on Pete's antique vernacular. Most importantly, the air conditioning is working in our '91 Lexus again.
Least importantly, we're moving to f*cking Australia on October 5th. More to come on that too.
Luke Got The Klap
by Adam & Lara on 07/12/11After several years of dabbling, Lara's brother Luke finally and irrevocably got the Klap. Chico NBC Action News Anchor Kira Klapper, that is!
Luke and Keeks had their engagement picture taken 2 years ago at a b-roll video shoot for a Cialis commercial.
Luke proposed to Kira on June 25th, but he had been thinking about doing it for quite a long time.
Here he is thinking.
Kira had been thinking about the impending proposal and practicing her reaction for when the time finally came.
Here she is practicing.
We couldn't be happier for Luke and Keeks, and just hope that Farmer John is cool with all of this.
Farmer John spits game while Kira searches for the panic button on her Subaru key fob. It was her only defense.
Happy 4th of July!
by Adam & Lara on 07/05/11What is every 28-year-old's dream?
If you answered "spending every single day and night with your parents for 6 weeks straight," then you are absolutely correct.
Happy 4th of July from the Saraceno house. Hooray Merikuh.
