Reason #13: Green Bay Packers fans
by Adam & Lara on 02/08/10
Happy Birthday Fogle! This one's for you buddy.
If you've ever played a board game with a 4-year-old (or me) then you can probably relate to watching a Packers game with a Packers fan. Illogical tantrums and foot-stomping when things don't go their way. Shrieking and gloating when they score, or when the other team doesn't score. Or, for that matter, when a player on the other team is carried off on a stretcher. It's immaturity meets lack of sportsmanship. And it is annoying.
I'll give them this - they are great football fans. They follow the game, know their facts and their loyalty prevails win or lose. I am a Rams fan, and that is not the case. When the Rams lose I chock the season up as a "rebuilding year" and go read the baseball scouting reports. When they win I get pissed that I didn't watch the game because they're probably going to lose next week.
But the Packers fans' candy shell of redemption quickly melts away to reveal the tough, chewy nougat of always-taking-it-way-too-far. Try interacting (let along living, as I did for 6 years of my life) with a Packers fan in the week following a loss. It's like hanging out with a lobotomy patient. They become droopy, pouty skeletons of their former selves, unable to lift themselves from the intense sadness that is Aaron Rodgers fumbling to an Arizona linebacker for a touchdown return. Granted that was really really sad. But by that logic Rams fans would have hanged themselves after SuperBowl XXXVI. But we didn't - we kept our heads up - and look how far we've come.
Maybe the Packers fans' erratic behavior can be explained through a poor diet. You'd be surprised how quickly the perkiness disappears from corn-fed blond Lutheran girls after they're stuffed with cheese curds and Spotted Cow for umpteen years. Or maybe the root cause is social isolation. As shocking as it sounds, there's just not much going on in the Green Bay-Oshkosh-Sheboygan tri-metro area. Either way, I'm over it.
That's why we're moving to a non-isolated country known for it's healthy diet and mild sports manner.
Reason #14: Public dumping
by Adam & Lara on 02/06/10
No, this is not a rant about the environmental hazards of dumping trash into our oceans and landfills. I am talking about people defecating on the streets of San Francisco.
If you have never encountered this, consider yourself extremely lucky. Because in my 4+ years in this fine city, I have witnessed 3 (count 'em, 3) public dumping violations. And each one has scarred me in its own horrific way.
First there was the drop-your-overalls-but-keep-walking-while-you-go maneuver I witnessed in the Financial District while heading back to work from my lunch break. I'd been in SF for 2 months, had just gotten my first big girl job in the city and pretty much thought everything was sunshine and rainbows. Until I saw that.
I didn't eat for 2 days.
Then I moved to the Lower Haight about a year ago, where the next 2 episodes took place. One as I was walking from the train home after a long day of work. And the last (and undoubtedly most terrifying) incident as I was laying in bed one morning. For those of you who haven't seen our place, it's a partially below-ground unit, with windows all around giving you a waist-down view of passers-by. So I awoke one Saturday morning with a mild hangover. As I'm laying in bed contemplating getting up to start my day, a person walks up to my window. Clearly they think they've found a nice secluded place to go about their business. And before I realize what the hell is going on, this person drops trough and I saw more than I EVER wanted to see of another human being.
Now I realize that the Lower Haight is a slightly grittier neighborhood with somewhat questionable residents, therefore increasing the likelihood of incidents such as this. But I refuse to believe that these public dumpers restrict themselves to a 10-block radius. Which means these people are all over the city, doing this. Now I'm not sure how to stop this behavior, nor do I want to deal with it. So Adam and I are going to New Zealand, and you all can deal with this shit.
Reason #15: We don't have jobs anymore
by Adam & Lara on 02/05/10
We've heard it a million times. All of you "workaholics" out there say that they need to "make a living" by "performing a service" in exchange for "money." I bet you'd tell me that you "have a family to support" or "own a house" that you have to "pay for." Perhaps you're one of those people who feel the need to "buy groceries" and "go to the dentist." Well I've got some news for you. Life without a job is not only possible, it's AWESOME. I know, because I've lived this dream life for 4 hours and counting:
Figure 1: Look at how awesome my life is.
Reason #16: Taxes
by Adam & Lara on 02/05/10
Booooooooooooooo:
Thanks to TurboTax, at this violent reaming was quick and easy to navigate through. To ensure that this doesn't happen in 2010, my solution will be not making any money. I'll start the day after tomorrow.
RIP Old Blog
by Adam & Lara on 02/04/10
If you're looking for the old blog you can find it here: http://andnowthisishappening.blogspot.com/
The old blog had a short, happy life. The little guy really fought up until the end. We'll remember him fondly. And OH MAN how hiliarious was the post about hipsters?
Anywho, my friend Nick reminded me that in order to keep up on our 20 Reasons Why We're Going to New Zealand list we'll have to basically provide a new reason every single day until we go. And I have no problems doing that. My advice to the readers: make this your homepage. That way you won't miss what we have to say.
